When you announce to a civilian your chosen profession, your professional love, your reason for artistic expression; have you gotten an eye-roll return?
There’s a reason actors are pooh-poohed with disdain. As in every profession there are idiots among us. Pretenders. Rubes. Frauds. Mouth breathers wasting oxygen and everyone’s time. Unfortunately ‘acting’ seems to attract more posers than knowers.
Below are 23 ‘actor’ types marring the profession; steering the actor stereotype into late-night comic fodder. If you recognize an actor below, that’s because I was listening taking notes.
You’re a Fraud Actor Making Actors Punchlines if…
1. You use ‘casted’ as a verb; as in, “I got casted.”
2. You worry your name will eat up too many Twitter characters as a hashtag
3. Under Special Skills on your resume you list ‘walking.’
4. You think ‘dialects’ is a new app.
5. You cite Rene Russo movies as your education for accents.
6. When asked if you’ve ever been ‘Under Five’ you respond, “Yes, as a child. I’m now over five-one.”
7. At the craft services’ table you ask for embroidery floss to finish friendship bracelets.
8. Your headshot was taken in your backyard by your mother.
9. You think your IMDB STARmeter® ranking matters.
10. When asked, ‘What’s your range?” you reply, “Like new. I don’t cook.”
11. You’re mystified why successful actors and stars invest more than $100 for headshots.
12. You call your representation for relationship advice, asking if you should dump your squeeze because he/she/it doesn’t make enough money to keep you content.
13. You bitch that Britney Spears is under-appreciated as an actress.
14. When asked if auditioning for Oklahoma you reply, “No. Tornadoes scare me.”
15. You’re irate industry people on Facebook you don’t personally know ignore your friend requests.
16. When asked, “Who’s your representative?” you give the cell phone number of your current hump honey.
17. You believe your non-acting college degree on your acting resume denotes your seriousness at being an actor.
18. When asked about your hand-to-hand experience you blush and reply, “I’m in a serious relationship.”
19. Your actor e-mail address includes, ‘star’; ‘the great’; or ‘legend.’
20. After being one of many cheering extras in a crowd scene you list the credit on your resume as ‘featured,’ or ‘U/5.’
21. You’re 35 and bull headedly believe your high school plays on your resume will get you professional work as an actor.
22. You think acting is just playing pretend.
23. You don’t go to rehearsal. You go to ‘play practice’ and toss around scripts.
Unlike the actors I encountered above, I’ve been very fortunate to be surrounded by an elite group of proactive actors serious about their careers. In auditions; as peer actors when I was an actor; contributing as team players when I’ve directed; and most notably I’ve been lucky to know smart actors expanding knowledge of their profession for getting more work and securing representation. Join these brilliant actors as I help you gain more control of your goals and career in Access to Agents – How To Agent as An Actor & Expand Opportunities. Only a few seats remain. I look forward to helping you help yourself.
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Paul Russell’s career as a casting director, director, acting teacher and former actor has spanned nearly thirty years. He has worked on projects for major film studios, television networks, and Broadway. Paul has taught the business of acting and audition technique at NYU and has spoken at universities including Yale, Temple and the University of the Arts. He is the author of ACTING: Make It Your Business – How to Avoid Mistakes and Achieve Success as a Working Actor. For more information, please visit www.PaulRussell.net.
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